Tosia: Chapter 2

Portrait of a Jewish woman as written by her daughter, Felicia Graber.
Updated August 1, 2024.

One day, about a year after my arrival, I received a letter from my brother, Ignaz. Our mother was deathly ill. She had kidney failure and had to have round-the-clock nursing help. Nobody knew how long she would last. I was devastated. I got in touch with Moshe, my cousin, and begged for his help to make the necessary arrangements to go back to Tarnów.

Moshe pleaded with me not to leave. “You will not do your mother any good,” he said, “and you will ruin your life. I have known for a while that your mother was ill but did not want to tell you. I knew you would want to go home. You belong here in Eretz Israel—the Land of Israel—this is your home. I am afraid that once you leave, you will never come back.”

Chana Meisner, the school’s headmistress, also admonished me, “Remember, this is your home, this is where you belong, you have to come back.”

I agreed with them both. I knew that this land, this life, was my future, but I also knew that I had to go back and see my mother before she died. Knowing how hard she had taken my departure; I could not deny her last wishes. I had to go home. However, I swore I would be back. In fact, I only took what was necessary for the trip. I left all my other belongings behind.

Mother was overjoyed to see me. Her first words to me were, “Now that I have seen you, I can die.” A few months later, on the Eve of the Festival of Sukkot (Tabernacles) 1934, corresponding to September 22, 1934, our beloved mother passed away. The three of us, my brother, my sister and I, were devastated. We buried her next to our great-grandmother in the Tarnów cemetery. We put up a beautiful tombstone with the following inscription (translated from the Hebrew):

“A fountain of tears descended from
the eyes of her children,
At the Death of their mother
Who was wholesome in deeds.
Her palms were extended to the
Poor and needy.
She accepted with love her suffering.
To the source from which she was quarried
Her chaste soul returned.
Mrs. Feiga, daughter of Mr. Yechiel Yitzchak
Of blessed memory
Died on September 22, 1934
May her soul be bound in the bonds of eternal life.”

A few months later our sister Adele died during labor. Her baby did not survive either. Our father had already remarried, an act we could not accept. We did not want to have any relationship with him or his new wife. Ignaz and I felt we had no one left on this earth but each other. He begged me not to abandon him. How could I leave him and go back to Palestine? He needed me.

We rented an apartment together. I found a job as a secretary, and he worked as a dental technician. We depended on each other. I was still hoping though, that he would find a mate, and I would be free to go back to my “real” homeland— Palestine. Being 23 years old, but unlike many girls of my generation, I was not interested in marriage. I had a good job, girlfriends, my Hashomer Hazair organization, and I was content. Besides, I was a poor soul without a dowry. Who would want me anyway? The years flew by; Ignaz never seemed to want to settle down and start a family; I worked, kept house for the two of us and fell into a quiet routine.

To be continued…

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Read more by Felicia Graber.