Bob Found G-d

I ran the Charm City Reptile and Amphibian Rescue for 14 years (no longer in operation). 

One day some bearded dragons arrived with big, homemade melamine cages. In later years, I turned down homemade cages because they were usually awful. I would end up taking them apart and having to dispose of them, causing me extra work. It was just easier to tell people I didn’t need the cage.

On this day, people arrived with huge cages. They were probably 4′ x 3′ x 2′ and built on stands so they actually stood about four to five feet high. They dropped off two or three cages with animals.

While crushed walnut shell bedding is sold in many pet stores, I absolutely hate it. It’s horrible for all animals. If ingested, this substrate causes impactions. I would never use it as bedding for any animals. Some reptile breeders use it for display purposes at reptile shows, but other than that – it’s awful!

These bearded dragons arrived with tons of crushed walnut shell bedding in their cages. No one ever cleans the cage before they are donated. Leaving a very small animal in a huge cage when you are driving is not a good idea because it’s dangerous. The animals can bounce around and possibly get injured. Also, there is a chance some of their cage decorations, hide boxes or water bowls will smash them as the driver is going around a curve.

These dragons arrived in the big, awful cages. The first thing I did was take the animals out, soak them and then set them up in better cages with appropriate bedding. The cages weren’t as big, but had everything they needed.

Bob, one of my volunteers, had to get on a step stool to reach into the cage since it was up high. About 14 years old at the time, he was a gangly teenage boy whose sense of humor and intelligence always amused me.

Bob finished cleaning the first cage, sweeping all of the bedding. We put the walnut bedding around my tree in the front yard. For the next year, every time I mowed the grass the sharp little walnut bits would fly up and hit me in the shins. Eventually, the bedding sunk down into the ground and/or decomposed. Throwing it in the trash would only add to the landfill and I didn’t do that whenever possible.

Bob started on the second cage. I was upstairs cleaning something else while Bob used a little whisk broom (I have one in every room!) to sweep. “HOLLI!” he yelled. He scared the crap out of me.

“What’s wrong,” I said already vaulting down the stairs.

“I found G-d!” Bob said.

I just looked at him. I wasn’t sure what he meant. 

“Um, you mean you have discovered the existence of G-d while cleaning crap-filled walnut bedding?”

He said, “No. Look.”

He pointed to the walnut bedding. It was shaped like Jesus on the cross with his arms stretched out.

It wasn’t as good as the face of Jesus in the grilled cheese sandwich that ended up being purchased by some casino in Las Vegas, or a picture of the Virgin Mary that wept real tears, but it really did kind of look like a cross with a person on it.

I said, “Don’t touch it. I’m getting my camera.”

I snapped away. I hurriedly went over to the computer. I wanted to make sure the pictures emerged clearly so you could see what was there. While I was downloading them, I looked up and Bob had swept it all away. I asked, “What about G-d?”

He shrugged his shoulders and kept sweeping. 

That was my Bob, all right. 

Even “finding G-d” didn’t really phase him. There was just that one excited outburst. I think he was more interested in it as a piece of artwork than anything else. We even talked about how to preserve it with hair spray without messing it up. In the end, he just swept it away and went on with his cleaning duties.

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Read more by Holli Friedland.