My Friend Phyllis

(The Lunch Bunch: Phyllis is the person on the right.)

I first met Phyllis Gofstein when her husband, Mel, joined the Mason-Dixon NCRS Corvette Club. My husband, Bruce, joined the club with his 1966 Corvette convertible with a big block motor several years ago. Mel was a large man, so he didn’t drive a Corvette, but somehow became a member of the club!

Most, if not all, club events included wives and significant others. That’s when Phyllis and I met each other. With our spouses, we attended car club shows, lunches, dinners and our annual trip to Mount Washington Pediatric Hospital. The club donated money, from the dues we collected, to the hospital every year.

Some of these very sick children, who were able to come outside with their nurses and aids, loved seeing the old and new cars in a variety of bright colors. The more able-bodied kids would sit in these beautiful cars, pretend to drive them and even honk the horns! I often spoke to these adorable children who would “drive” us to McDonald’s or Wendy’s for delicious hamburgers and milkshakes. “Yum,” the kids would say!

Now, back to my special friend, Phyllis. Aside from car club events, we would join each other at our friend’s pool or I’d invite her to my pool, along with other mutual friends. Phyllis was not a swimmer, but rather a “dangler.” She enjoyed sitting on the edge of the pool, dangling her legs into the clear, cool water, especially on a hot summer day. She always wore a beautiful, wide-brimmed hat to protect her from the sun.

We also enjoyed our monthly lunches with other friends and called ourselves the “Lunch Bunch!” We dined at various restaurants, enjoying an assortment of foods. Many times, we would frequent the same places if the food was really good.

Many years before I met Phyllis, I volunteered at Beth Israel Congregation Hebrew School’s fund raiser by selling pizza kits. I “worked” in that capacity the entire time my children attended school. The main fund raiser was selling Joe Corbi Pizza kits to the children and their families. I worked with another member of the synagogue, Sheldon Schwartz. We sold more pizzas than we could ever count! However, in 2007, Sheldon passed away. I was extremely sad about this and wrote a poem about my pizza-selling buddy.

It was years later I discovered Phyllis and Sheldon were sister and brother! Once I realized that, I brought copies of my poem about Sheldon to our Lunch Bunch, passed them out to everyone and read the poem out loud. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Phyllis’ eyes fill with tears. She and the others were deeply touched. I felt tears well up in my eyes, too, knowing Phyllis had lost her brother many years ago.

Unfortunately, Phyllis had pulmonary fibrosis for several years. For the longest time, she was able to join our Lunch Bunch, until one day she couldn’t. Eventually, the disease caught up with her. Another friend and I were able to see her about two weeks before she passed. We had a warm and wonderful visit with our dear friend, Phyllis. She, like her brother, passed away too young, at only 78 years of age.

I will always carry Phyllis in my heart. Our being together was filled with fun, laughter, sometimes tears and a love for each other we shared over many years. Now, as I remember our times together, Phyllis, I miss you.

Here is the poem I wrote about Phyllis’ brother, Sheldon Schwartz:

Sheldon Schwartz—A Great Man! (March 9, 2007)

Sheldon Schwartz’s name
was synonymous with every Beth Israel game.

He was an active member
as you may well remember.

I met him many years ago;
to the PTA meetings we would go.

He and I worked on the pizza kits.
With the kids these were lots of hits!

I often named him in my mind:
“The Pizza Man.” He was so kind.

This was a project we always did;
He and I, working for the kids.

Sheldon always had a smile on his face.
I saw him at Beth Israel, this was his place!

I will miss his warm smile
that would carry me many a mile!

And his peck on my cheek
was his Shabbat greeting each week.

We cannot question why he is no longer here.
He will remain in our hearts year after year.

My deepest sympathies to Marlene and the family;
Our thoughts and prayers are with you during this difficulty.

We will remember forever in our minds’ eye
Sheldon Schwartz, as we must say good-bye.

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Read more by Marlene Wolff Solomon.